Diary of Jane
by Art is a bang4979
Summary: Sequel to Curse of Curves. Hinata and Sakura's relationships have been straining. The both look to Deidara for support. He himself having issues of his own. Can this three find a happy ending? Or will someone get hurt in the prossess?
1. Rock Bottom

**A.N: Here we go again! Here's the begining of the end everyone. **

**Warning: This story is rated M for the reasons that fallow. Drug abuse/sexual contact/and bad language/ and maybe a lemon **

**Diary Of Jane**

**--**

**--**

**--**

Chapter One: Rock Bottom

Things weren't getting better even five months after my visit with Sasuke. My mind was being over flooded with crazy thoughts and I had no way of controlling them. The only thing that kept me from losing it was the medication that Tsunade prescribed to me the kind that would dull my brain when I was being over thrown by the madness. Right at the moment I was in the depths of the drug's haze. I'd taken five pills only five and I felt like nothing mattered. Nothing at all mattered.

If Sakura or Hinata were being tortured to death in front of my eyes I wouldn't care. I felt my eyes close then open again. I swung in the hammock carelessly taking in the chemical smell of paint and the earthy wet smell of my new orders of clay sitting on my kitchen table. Normally I would have been ecstatic about getting clay finally but at the moment art didn't seem all that of a big deal. Something in my head found this as wrong but the drugs made me ignore it so I did.

The hours felt like seconds but when I looked up it was nearly noon and Hinata's daily knock on the door would be coming up shortly. I could see her in my mind's eye walking up the stares on the side of my house onto the porch and knock contently on the door. I'd open it a few second later and I'd blame my grogginess on lack of sleep rather then drug abuse. I hated lying to her of all people; she's my best and practically only friend.

The other ninja hang out with me when Hinata is around but I know they dislike me. I'm the strain on her and Naruto's relationship and I haven't talked to Sakura since the night she had to sleep on my floor because her good for nothing husband kicked her out of the house. I felt utterly to blame for everyone's troubles, a burden, and a criminal who lucked out for his charm.

I was about to open the bottle of medication for another high when someone knocked on the door. Surprised I for the hundredth time wavered in the hammock as I snapped up and fell on my face to the hard wood. The hammock sung back and hit me in the back of the head as I got up. Lovely…

"Morning Pearl," I said with a grumbled as I opened the door to meet her moon light eyes.

"It's one in the afternoon Deidara," she said with a smile. It was windy out and her long indigo black hair was flying around behind her. "Have you even eaten anything?"

"I had a granola bar yesterday hmm," I said and smirked when she gave me a dissatisfied look.

"You're going to get sick," she snapped letting herself in and I closed the door after her. "And your so talented at cooking it's amazing that you don't make yourself good meals!"

"Art takes a toll on you I guess yeah," I stated as she opened my near empty cupboards in search of any good food. I didn't have much food I couldn't afford both art supplies and full shelves of food. And of course art is the greatest necessity in life. "Tsunade's not giving me any missions," I said annoyed and crossing my arms "the only money I'm making is selling paintings. Lucky for me traveling merchants will buy anything artsy so they can sell it God knows where for double the price they give me for it hmm."

"You're so depressing," she sighed taking out a box of ramen noodles that probably expired a few months ago. "Don't worry Tsunade will have need of you soon," she said with a smile "the winter solstice is coming up soon and she wants to celebrate with a bang!" My eyes widened a little "She's going to set up an arena so you can show your art…your real art."

"Really?" I blinked thinking this was probably to good to be true.

"Yeah the money made will go straight to your rent," she said with a spring in her step as she began to boil some water.

"Why didn't she tell me?" I asked leaning back on the door and hiding the excitement I felt.

"Because you didn't go to the meeting this morning," Hinata replied a dull annoyance in her voice.

"There was a meeting today hmm?" I gapped like a fish. She nodded at me and I slapped my forehead. "Shit."

"Shit is right," she said turning back to her noodles and put the whole box of it into the bubbling water. "Tsunade was hung over and she wasn't in the mood to send for someone to get you. So you missed the whole thing."

"Hmm that sucks," I sighed sliding a chair out for myself and planted into it. I grumbled resting my cheek in my hand. "You look nice today hmm," I said noticing that she wore deep blue cashmere sweater and a grey pencil shirt. I could see every line of her curves with enough to leave to the imagination. Hinata was always beautiful but she never wore anything so fitting.

She turned to look at me with a slight tint to her cheeks. So cute. "Thanks," she said before going back to her cooking. I rolled my eyes and blew at my bangs watching the strands of hair fly up before drifting back to the exact place they where before. After a little while of silence and playing with my hair she came over to me and put a bowl of ramen in front of me. "Eat okay? I have a date with Naruto so I can't stay any longer."

"Yeah fine Ma," I teased her and she blushed again as she left. I rolled my eyes and turned on my craptastic TV and watched the afternoon cartoons as I ate the steaming bowl of ramen. I didn't think about how long the box had been sitting in the cupboard as I ate. Now what am I suppose to do all day?

* * *

"Hey Ino-Chan!" I greeted as I entered her family flower shop. Some how I'd been able to drag four canvases to the other side of town with me each canvas having a painting of a flower. One a rose, a branch of cherry blossoms, another was a white lotus, and the last was a sun flower all three on big eleven by seventeen canvas. "I have the paintings you wanted for the shop hmm," I called and soon Ino came out from the back of the store.

"Oh hi Deidara-san," she said warily "let me see?"

I nodded and showed her the pieces. I had put up four still lives for myself to work off from and it was a hell of a lot easier to get them to look like what the costumer wanted so I'd get the money I needed. If I'd been completely off on what Ino wanted for the store I'd have to do each painting over. That would be a waste of my supplies so might as well do it right the first time.

"Oh I love them!" she gushed looking at each of the flower paintings. "Let me go get my purse and I'll pay for them now okay?" She smiled and sprinted off. I watched her go off and half smirked. The girl was nice and all but she was rather simple and I bored of her bubbly personality quickly.

The bell on the door ringed behind me and I looked over my shoulder curiously still holding the rose and sunflower paintings and propping the other two up with my legs. I nearly fell over and the cheery blossom painting did fall over when my leg moved to quickly.

"Shit," I growled looking back at the canvas as the person at the door came around. I stared noiselessly at her as she picked up the painting and looked at it.

"Looks nice," Sakura said before moving her green eyes up at me. "But I didn't think you where into this kind of stuff."

"I make money off it hmm," I said still staring at her perfect face and the coy smile on her lips.

"I guess you'll be the residential artist then? Besides Sai of course," she said still holding the painting in front of her.

"Sai isn't an artist yeah," I said and again she smiled.

"And you are?" she asked and I glared. "You really should be less judgmental it's not a good quality for someone who says they are an artist. Artists are open-minded aren't they?" I made a face and she giggled before putting the painting down and leaving to the back room that Ino had gone to get her purse.

"Evil woman hmm," I muttered to myself as Ino came back to the main area of the store. She smiled at me and gave me my money. I gave her the paintings in return feeling no emotional contact with the pieces because of course it wasn't art it was just work.

"Oh and here you go," Ino said giving me a tulip "as an extra gift for doing such a beautiful job."

"Um thank you," I said taking the plant's stem gingerly in one hand. Yeah like I said Ino was nice and all but a bit soft in the head. I smiled awkwardly and left quickly. Rather then take the road I jumped up onto the roof of the flower shop. I looked at the tulip annoyed and put in the back pocket of my black pants. "Lovely I'm going to be jumping around with this stupid flower in my pocket un," I said to myself as I jumped roof top to roof top back to my studio apartment in down town main street.

Once home I took the stupid flower out of my pocket and into a coffee mug with a teddy bear on it filled with water. I put the cup down in the middle of my dinning table next to my TV. I stared at the flower. It was yellow, the color of happiness, warmth, and friendship. How ironic that this flower would end up in my depressing, cold, and lonely house.

_Yellow is also the color of flames you know. As is red, orange, black and blue. _

I looked dully over to the counter top where my bottle of pills sat. I stared at the brown see through plastic bottle with the white cap and orange tape around its belly.

_Come on Deidara! No one can harm you if you've already killed them!_

I walked over to the counter and opened the bottle. I spilled some pills on the stone and picked three up and popped them into my mouth. Curiously I picked up another pill and pushed it between the lips of my hand. The mouth ground the pill with its strong teeth and it transferred straight into my charka system. It hit me like a ton of bricks.

I stepped backwards my vision becoming blurred and I saw sudden flashes of color. Disorientated I tripped and fell on my back onto the stone floor of the kitchen. My nervous system went into a spasm and soon I was knocked out. Cold.

* * *

**Sorry for the short first chapter but it kind of just ended itself lolz**


	2. A Waiting Bomb

**A.N: Sorry for the long pause! I had a crazy last two weeks of school and I just wanted to get it done and over with before getting any real writting done. So i thought the best way to celibrate my first day of summer would be to put up a new chapter. Sorry about Deidara's emo-ness I know it's really OCC for him but I think the true saddest part of this fic is done and over with and we are getting back to the exsentric alive Dei rather then emo Dei so just hold out for me.**

**Also this chapter has a mention of something that happened in Be My Bad Boy if you don't remmber that far back I'd say to re-read Book one because I'll be going back to that alot as well as going back to things that happened in Curse of Curves. **

**Disclamer: I do not own naruto or any of it's characters and or plots. **

* * *

Chapter Two: A Waiting Bomb

You all must be wondering why the hell Deidara was trying to commit suicide by over dosing on prescription medication. Well I was trying to figure out that little mystery myself I mean really if I was going to kill myself so inartistically why not at lest use illegal drugs? Was I really so stressed and depressed that I couldn't even have the balls to use my self destruction jutsu that would have probably killed off a few thousand people in the glorious power and light. Was _she _such an importance to me that I couldn't even die enjoying my art? I knew the answer was yes even before the question crossed my mind.

Well thankfully I soon found out later that I wasn't dead but rather in the hospital when I finally opened my eyes. I could still recall my inward conversation as I gained my wits. I looked around quickly gazing at the blue walls of the hospital room. What a stupid color for a hospital room to be. Blue a cool calm color but also the color of sadness. Just what I need to see first thing right?

As I gazed around the room my eyes cast to my right where I saw that I wasn't alone in the room. I would have rather seen the coral pink halo and emerald eyes looking back at me but it was just Hinata as always. _Just _Hinata. Those two words seemed so cruel together but that's how I felt. It mattered more to me that the walls of the room where blue rather then it was that Hinata was sitting with me. Aren't I pathetic?

"Hey," she said making me look back at her large marble eyes. I said nothing. She smiled slightly "Tsunade is taking you off the meds."

"I don't find the humor in that hmm," I said still groggy and my head throbbed painfully from when I'd hit the tiled floor.

"Why would you do that?" she asked and I closed my eyes pretending I didn't know what she was talking about. "Deidara? Why?" I hadn't noticed that she'd been crying the whole time. "Why would you do that?"

"I didn't think…" I tried to explain but I couldn't say. She wouldn't understand the madness that plagued me even if she wanted to.

"Of course not," she said when I didn't finish. She thought that I had explained my whole doing the drugs thing and I could feel she was becoming angry. "Because you never think do you? Tsunade gave you those pills so you could better control your anger and what are you doing? Getting high! You're a stereotype bad-guy and it's not even funny!"

Her fury at first annoyed me sense she was wrong. I wasn't getting high for the hell of it I was trying to lessen my own pain but would she get that? Of course not! But after a second or to her anger began to excite me the real me the artist me! As I watched her I could feel the smile curl on my lips and my pupil's contrast I could feel the muscles in my eyes tighten as she scolded me. I hadn't realized she'd been holding my hand sense I woke up till she let go of me.

"I don't know what I'd do without you," I said once she was finished with her rant. She seemed surprised by my reply and she pressed her brows together as if she where dissatisfied with my reaction. "And about the meds well I guess I have no real explanation you have already covered yeah," I sighed "and yeah I'm sorry and stuff for making you worried." She gave a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "Where's Kyubi-kun?" I asked with my so loving nickname for Naruto. "I thought you said you two had a date hmm?"

"We did," she said her eyes still holding worry but her voice seemed almost normal "but there was a lot of people at the restaurant so we left early. I went to go check on you and when you didn't answer I let myself in and that's when I found you passed out. You're an idiot you know."

"I try to do my best to impress you with something new yeah," I said light heartedly.

"Impress me?" she asked as if I'd been completely wrong in my statement. "Your antics will be all over tomorrow morning's news."

"Sweet I'll be on TV yeah!" I said with false joy. Hinata looked like she was going to punch me in the face. I'd probably completely ruined her day and now I was poking fun at my own folly. "Hmm don't worry so much Pearl you know I'll be fine."

"Yeah sure," she said rolling her eyes. "You know Deidara you should really stop thinking about Sakura for once and start thinking about what you're going to do with your life."

"It's not about Sakura," I said trying to defend my self even if she didn't know about how bad the madness was. I pulled my brows together as she looked at my skeptically. "Don't look at me like I'm crazy un," I grumbled.

"But you are crazy so I'm looking at you normally," she said with a slight smirk while I pouted. "The fifth will be coming in to see you soon so try to act your age please?"

"What's my age again hmm?" I asked and she rolled her eyes again.

"Don't be a smart ass she's pissed," she said getting up "I have to leave Naruto's in the lobby and he's pissed too."

"Um why" I tried to ask but she was already half way out the door.

"See you later," she said before closing the door behind her and leaving me in the room alone to await my coming doom. If Hinata was mad at me I knew the Hokage was going to be furious which I don't see to be a very good method of curing a junkie's addiction. Even at the moment I was thinking about those pills and what I was going to do now that I was being taken off of them.

I bit my black thumb nail. Contrary to popular belief the Akatsuki nails are not painted (except for Sasori's) rather when you become a member you have to go though a painful test to show if you're physically and mentally capable. One of the tests being to smash your fingernails under a hammer until they become bruised and bleeding then Pein would perform a medical jutsu that made the bruising permanent and giving the nails there blackish purple look. Why did Pein do this? I really don't know the true answer but I think it has something to do with being a sadistic freak.

Being only fourteen when I was impressed into Akatsuki membership I wasn't tough enough to endure the painful process quietly. Kisame had teased me and Sasori had called me a spoiled brat but I didn't care about there thoughts. Itachi's cold uncaring silence was the only thing that annoyed me the most at the time. At lest Sasori and Kisame had said something though it was only to make fun of me but Itachi just stood there…indifferently.

Sometimes I wondered if he had cried during the process too.

My thoughts having become derailed completely from my present predicament hadn't noticed Tsunade, her servant, that annoying pig and Sakura come into the room. When I looked up over at them I was chewing unattractively on my thumb nail.

"Afternoon ladies," I said cheerily at the glaring faces of the three most powerful medics in Konoha two of which being the most powerful in the world one I being completely head over heals with and the fourth being a pig. "Pleaser to see you."

"You're the only one gaining pleaser from this meeting then," the Hokage growled like a hungry wolf. "It took us nearly an hour to fully detoxify you. The drug had gotten into your charka channels somehow."

"Oh I know hmm," I said lifting up my palm "the mouth is a direct link to my charka channel. I had this crazy idea of putting one of the pills in there yeah."

Sakura's eyes narrowed angrily.

"Well you look fine enough," Tsunade said blandly putting her hand on her wide hip. "But you'll be staying in here for a while. One of you two watch him." And with that she left leaving the other two women stunned for a second.

"Not it," said the black haired servant with the pig. I could never remember her name. She smiled extra sweetly at Sakura before leaving the room. I stared at Sakura as she stared at the door trying to figure out what he was thinking. I loved her dearly but I usually had no idea what she was thinking I barely even know who she is. After all I had fallen in love with a lie that I knew but that deception had her face on it so I was by default in love with her too. So in understandable terms I'm a stalker.

The woman gave a long groan and I thought I heard a curse leave her lips. Aparently she wasn't happy to have to take care of me.

"I have to use the bathroom hmm," I said knowing it was probably the last thing she wanted to hear.

"Tsunade set you up for a catheter so just go," she replied tiredly sitting down in the chair Hinata had taken residence in when I woke up.

"Ew really?" I asked sitting up suddenly. The movement gave me vertigo and I had to slump back.

"You're exactly the same," she mused "you need to grow up."

"Like you did yeah?" I snapped not needing a lecture from her. "I try to enjoy life because I know mine will be gone in a flash. I'm planning on living maybe ten more years then I'll blow myself up if things are boring." She shot me a glare but I ignored it. "It won't be in Konoha. I have people here that I care about you and Hinata mostly. I might go back to the Earth county you know go full circle. Start and end with a bang yeah."

I chuckled at my double meaning to the last sentence but she wasn't amused. She was so different then I remembered. She was so businesslike and looked like she hated me but then why had she been so…flirty at the flower shop? I just couldn't wrap my brain around her odd behavior.

She huffed and crossed her arms looking like a spoiled child. And I was the one who needed to grow up?

"I know what that good luck charm is now," she said changing the subject. I looked at her confused and she smiled. "That 'Iwa tradition' remember?" I thought for a second before my eyes widened a bit. "The kiss over the navel is supposedly a magic spell binding two people together forever. It's a northern belief."

"I know what it is," I snapped becoming enraged that she was mocking my love for her yet again.

"So angry all of a sudden," she clicked her tongue disapprovingly.

"You're a bitch yeah," I growled glaring at her.

"So you've told me," she said but she went on. "But your 'magic spell' seemed to work I can never be rid of you."

"Same over here un," I sighed "I mean how is it that you dislike me so much that you can still hold a conversation with me yeah?"

"I don't dislike you Deidara-san," she said making me look over at her surprised. She sighed and shook her head at the floor. "You have no idea how much I_ hate_ having to look at you on the street and…regret everything. I just want to live my dream and be a strong ninja for Konoha and have lots of babies and do all the stuff I dreamed about when I was a kid. But…"

"What?" I insisted. God I nearly had all the information in my lap. I nearly had the true reason why everything had ended so nightmarishly. I nearly had her back. "What is it? Just tell me Sakura hmm!"

"Nothing I can't do this," she said getting to her feet. I wanted to scream. "I'll get a nurse to look after you okay Deidara-san."

_San? Do you not know me well enough to just say my name? _

"Sakura-Chan," I said sitting up harshly again. I didn't want her to walk away again I nearly had her! But my body wouldn't let me chase after her and I fell back on the pillow my head throbbing and my eyes blinded by spots.

I heard her leave and I mourned quietly. _Deidara-san? I wasn't even a friend to her. Just an acquaintance and nothing more then that. I was just another patient that was stupid enough to nearly kill myself with medication. _

_If that's true_the madness was awakening as the medication wore off _then why is it that she left rather then tell you what was really bothering her._

Interested I listened to that odd inner voice that had always somehow been with me.

_Deidara is important to Sakura but she doesn't want to admit it. Not even to herself. Deidara must make her find out how much she loves him or both of them will slowly die from unhappiness. Deidara must make Sakura fall in love with him. _

For the first time in a long time my thoughts didn't make me want to jump out a window. I was going to make Sakura think about me. I smiled as a nurse walked into my room.

_I wonder what that Hinata will think._

At this point I was caught up in my ideas to pay much more attention to the madness and rather then make itself more know it stayed quiet as I thought over the plans.

And so the time bomb ticked.

* * *

**A.N: Just FYI Deidara's '_madness_' isn't another entity like an inner Sakura or the nine tail fox would be. It's just him thinking to himself really but he has this notion that it's an uncontrollible demonic being rather then just his own thoughts. **


	3. Concussive Force

**A.N: Yay! I love this chapter so much because I love writing in Deidara's POV because he's so damn funny! Um just a warning this chapter has alot of swearing and perverted things in it. **

**disclamer: i do not own naruto**

* * *

Chapter Three: Concussive Force

I was out of the hospital in two days there was really no point in keeping me there since I was getting bored and beginning to use my lunch of peas and apple sauce as weapons to try to hit my ceiling fan with. I didn't see Sakura after that first talk either. Unusually my mind felt rather clear and I was able to think.

Of course I thought mostly _of _Sakura as I walked back home this is like a million miles from the damn hospital. She is smart and beautiful and her strength is so artistic I love her so damn much. Everyone could tell that her marriage with the Uchiha brat was falling flat ever since Itachi killed there kid. Sakura blamed herself for the death and Sasuke blamed her (and me) for its death too. Happy marriage? Yeah right!

Again that was nearly five or six months ago now and for some reason the two are still together they absolutely hate each other but there together. If I could just put the last nail in that coffin of the marriage then girly would be all mine again. All I have to do is make her fall in love with me (for real this time.) How I was going to do this still completely eluded me however.

"Deidara," I heard someone yell behind me. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't register the anger in the voice so stupidly I turned around and right into a fist. "What the hell did you say to Hinata?!" Naruto yelled as I rubbed my cheek. My hand went to my hip but I didn't have my clay with me I'd forgotten so my hand groped at the empty air as I tried to relive my throbbing cheek bone with my other hand. "She's been crying for like a day! What the fuck did you do?"

"Ah God damn it Naruto maybe I would recall if you hadn't punched me in the face yeah!" I growled back at him.

"She's been worried sick," the other blond said breathing hard as he began to calm down "sorry I punched you in the face."

"A little late for apologies hmm," I grumbled as I straightened a bit from my recoiled poster I'd been in. "So what's wrong with Hinata?"

"I don't know," he replied looking very worried about his girlfriend. "Your better at figuring out what's wrong with her then I am."

"Again what was the face punching for?" I asked and Naruto narrowed his eyes a bit.

"Because you're an ass hole and disserve it," he snapped back "now come on."

"Fair enough un," I sighed fallowing him in the opposite direction of home. Damn I'm never going to get to the studio am I?

We got to Naruto's condominium and went in. The bedroom door was closed and there where claw marks on it. I glanced at the Kyuubi holder and back at the claw scratched door.

"Where you two arguing un?" I asked quietly so that the girl on the other side of the door wouldn't hear.

"You could tell?" Naruto asked with a sheepish look on his face. I rolled my eyes at him.

"There are _claw _marks on the door yeah," I snap. Naruto blinked and looked at the door before blushing and rubbing the back of his head.

"Ha that's there for a completely _different _reason," he said with a big grin on his face. I stared at Naruto before rolling my eyes again.

"Hinata's got weird fetishes yeah," I said simply. Naruto mumbled something along the lines of 'your telling me.' Yeah I think I'll let the conversation end from there. I _really _didn't want to think about Naruto and Hinata's demon related sex games. I don't need that in my life really.

I knocked on the bedroom door but there was no reply. I jiggled the door knob and it was locked. I sighed and looked over at Naruto.

"Got a hair clip or something hmm?" I asked and I knew he was going to say something about my hair "don't you dare say something about my hair Naruto I don't own hair clips okay?"

Naruto snickered and headed for the kitchen and came back with a few paper clips. Not as effective as hair clips but they'll have to do. I took them from him and uncurled them so they where long pieces of wire and suck them into the key hole. I wasn't going to question why Naruto had a key lock door for his bedroom. Again I really didn't want to know. I quickly picked open the lock and swung open the door.

Hinata was curled up in the bed facing the wall. Her night blue hair fanned out on the pillow and her face hidden from view. I was kind of scared of going in there because it reminded me so much of that horrible time I found Konan sleeping in her room and kind of accidentally sneaked a perverted peek in. That did _not _go well over with Pein.

"Eh Hinata-Chan," I called into the dark room. "I got out of the hospital today I'm fine see?" She rolled over a bit and I could see her pale eyes now staring me down.

"What happened to your face?" she whispered.

"A nurse slapped me because I lifted her skirt," I lied and felt Naruto calm down a little from behind me.

"You're an idiot," she said and I walked into the room.

"Yea I know hmm," I sighed and sat down on the foot of the bed and Naruto closed the door to let us talk. "So what happened why are you sulking un?"

"J-just…worrying about…stuff," she stammered and I heard a few short sobs.

"Stuff beside me hmm?" I asked pretending to be surprised.

"Yeah," she sniffed and crawled out of the covers and over so she was closer to me. She was wearing a big white T-shirt which might have belonged to Naruto and a pair of sweat pants. She looked irresistibly sexy with those wide tear rimmed eyes and her meek form in those over flowing clothing. I wanted to just eat her up but I kept my mind at the task at hand.

The last time I had any kind of sexual intercourse was with Hinata so it was hard not to keep back the memories when she looked so beautiful. Yeah I didn't love Hinata (crush but I can deal with not having her) like I loved Sakura (obsessive to the point of going clinically _more _insane) but I still loved Hinata.  
"So what's up?" I asked trying not to be obvious that I was checking her out.

"Well," she pressed her index figures together and my spine shivered. She looked _so _cute! "Naruto keeps insisting lately to go on more Akatsuki related mission and we've been fighting a lot. And my father is…very ill."

Everyone knew that the Hyuuga clan leader would kick the bucket sooner or later but I knew why Hinata was scared. She did not love her father but she was next in line to take the place of clan head.

"And then you…" she didn't finish her sentence "I guess it's hitting me all at once I guess…"

"I see hmm," I said looking to the door then back at her moonlit eyes.

"I don't…I can't…I-I don't know what to do Deidara," she was stammering again and I could see her chest heave with every hard sobbing breath. Hinata ran her hand through her hair. "I'm not ready."

"Don't say that," I said and she looked up "you're not a skittish little girl anymore hmm. And you're stronger then you think. Stop physicing yourself out okay?" I patted her on the head sure that my mouth was shut before hand. I had forgotten once and had drooled on her head, I was shunned for days.

She sniffed and nodded under my hand. "Thanks Deidara-kun," she whispered and I had to hold myself back from kissing her. I swear the sexual tension was killing me. Remember how I said she was the last person I had sex with? Well that was five fucking months ago! You do the math.

And out of all the Hidden Villages in the ninja world this was the only one where prostitution was illegal. And with _me_ being an Ex S-Class Criminal I had to be on my best behavior at all times. So unless I get over Sakura and actually get a _real _girlfriend I'm afraid it may be a long time before I get tail again. Okay why am I thinking about this? I need to pay attention to Hinata and not about my lack of a sex life.

"You're my best friend you know," she said with a small smile and whipped her eyes. "I can't talk to others like I can talk to you. You're the only one besides Naruto who actually knows the real me."

I grinned at her and she smiled back this time the smile reached her eyes and I died a little on the inside. _SO CUTE!_ Yeah I'm a sucker for cute things get over it you fucking fan girls.

"Well I better go hmm. Somebody might have robbed me while I was gone so I need the time in case I have to file a police report." I said and kissed her forehead. She blinked at me and scrunched up her brows. It took me all I had not to go forward with that (Naruto would have been pissed if we did it in _his_ bed) so I just smiled at her and patted her head again before leaving.

_Good thing you're _not_ in love with her _the madness snickered in my head but I didn't get that it was mocking me.

* * *

When I got home I was happy to say that in fact I was not robbed but somebody had been in my house. Many some bodies by the feeling of it. AMBU must have been ordered to check my house for any illegal drugs because you know I have connections and all. I'm not being sarcastic just so you know I really _do _have those kinds of connections but I think most of them would rather kill me then give me something to get high of.

At lest they where nice enough to re-organize my crap after looking through it. Had been Akatsuki or Rock Village ANBU it would take me days to clean up after there raid. Cleaning up after a raid like that would really bring someone to do drugs even if they had been clean. But I really don't care that they'd looked through my things as long as I don't have to clean afterward I don't give a flying fuck if they had had an orgy in my studio or even in my hammock but they better clean up afterwards!

As I thought about AMBU orgies I walked into my room to find that someone was sleeping in my hammock.

"Got kicked out again hmm?" I asked and Sakura snapped up. I kind of wished she would have fallen out of the hammock like I so often did but she was somehow able to stay in it.

"Yeah," she sighed seeing it was only me "just been having some …troubling times."

"Really? I'd never guess you two are just _so _happy together and all yeah," I said sarcastically. (Why was I being a complete bun-hole? Don't I _ever_ want to have sex again?)

"Yeah well that's what happens when you don't want to have kids right now but mister 'Revive the Uchiha Clan' does," she sighed defeated. "I feel less like a loved wife and more like a kid maker."

"So you came to my house rather then someone you like?" I said still being an asshole. (I don't know maybe I'm secretly gay and I didn't even know about. That would explain why I'm being a dick to the girl I love so badly.)

Thankfully she wasn't mad at my little comment she seemed to expect it. "I know you must really hate me Deidara," she looked up at me with those big beautiful emeralds "I had a choice…and I think I picked the wrong one…"

Could I feel that something was a tad bit off? Yes. Should it really have been so damn easy? No. Could she be using me because she's lonely or wants to make her husband jealous? Probably. Did I really badly want to believe her and think that she really wanted me? Fuck yes! Did I believe her? No.

"You only live once I guess hmm," I said softly and my libido screamed bloody murder at me. "You can stay if you want. I'll set up a spot for you in the studio yeah."

Sakura seemed a tad bit surprised by my answer but she smiled at me anyway. "Sounds great I was just about to say that."

_Lying whore! _

My heart thanked me for not letting me break it again but for another night my libido suffers.

* * *

**A.N: HA I told Sakura I was going to write a lemon so she got kind of confused that I changed the script without her knowing. **


	4. Mind Blowing

**A.N: read and review please. I've got no real comment for this chapter**

**insert disclamer**

* * *

Chapter Four: Mind Blowing

"Are you going to eat anything Deidara?" she asked from the doorway. Sakura was helping herself to a bowl of ramen which was pretty much the only source of nourishment in my house. Did I mention I was poor? Oh right covered that in chapter one.

I looked up from the painting I was working on for the past hour at lest. It was a still life I'd set up in the middle of the studio of a bowl of fruit. Original isn't it? I really hated doing it but it was for a restaurant across the street and the art blind owner wanted a stupid painting of fruit for his waiting room.

"Mmm Nah I have to finish this damn thing in a week," I replied as she walked over to see what I'd completed. It was oddly comfortable having her around. You'd think after not speaking to one another living together would be awkward. Well it wasn't really living together it was more like a sleep over till Sasuke cooled down from whatever he was currently pissed at.

"It looks done to me," she said eyeing the painting and looking back at the model.

"No, you see I still have to add lighting to the apple and darken the grapes and then finish the shadowing in the cloth. The background could be darker too yeah." I said as I eyed the fruit bowl.

"Why do you know how to do this stuff?" she asked and I gave her a look as I poured more Mat Medium onto my pallet. "I mean I thought you only did clay and explosions before you did that mural in my old apartment. I didn't know you where such a good painter too."

"Well hmm," I said mixing a pinkish tint to the clear Mat Medium. "An artist must learn all forms of the trade before falling into there specialty. Of course I'm the only true artist because I'd discovered that art is fleeting rather then just something pretty to look at yeah. So before I discovered this fact I drew and painted my mother taught me most of that skill." My brush moved over the top right of the apple I'd already painted making it look three dimensional. "When I do paint it's not usually this kind of stuff. Painting fruit is for novices even for mere painters."

Sakura left my side and walked around the room looking at my other projects in progress. My pallets consisted mostly of warm colors that reminded me of fleeting explosions. Explosions I'd hope to be able to do again soon now that I had my green card and I could become a Konoha ninja if I wanted to. Plus I badly needed the money. Ninja money was the _best _form of income anyone could hope for.

"It kind of smells in here," Sakura said making me look over at her "I don't know if I'd be able to sleep."

She was right. The studio did smell like chemicals, wet paint, and clay. I'd gotten use to the strong smells but I'm sure Sakura had never encountered such odors. She gave me an apologetic smile as if she was about to say she wouldn't care and would sleep in the studio anyway.

"No it's okay hmm," I said almost robotically "I'll move the mat to my room if the smell will bother you yeah."

Her face lit up and I wanted to hug her. "Thanks Deidara," she said looking down at a painting that was sitting on a tall easel that I'd had luckily found at a yard sale for 50 yen. It was practically a steal since an easel like that would usually go for 2000 to 4000 yen easily.

I shrugged a little glad that my hair was covering most of my face because I was probably smiling like an idiot. I painted more feverously not even allowing to let the paint dry before adding new color even if I was using oils, I didn't care because I had other things I was thinking about. Only when the colors begin to run together and my apple had turned brown did I stop.

"Fuck," I cursed biting my lip and inspecting the damage. The paint was very wet and I carefully dapped most of the brown off with a paper towel. Great now I'll have to wait like two days before it dried. "Should have done this bullshit project in acrylics that way I wouldn't have these issues hmm."

"What happened?" Sakura asked she had drifted to the large back window sill slurping her noodles quietly.

"I wasn't paying attention and I over painted," I explained still dabbing at the brown spot. "I'm going to have to re-paint the apple now yeah."

"That sucks," she commented not really knowing what to say. I just nodded and sighed putting my paint brushed in a can of oil so they could get cleaned. Oils were a difficult media to work with at times because it was so messy and hard to clean because you couldn't use water or it would clog your pipes. Rather you have to soak the brushes in oil.

It's next to impossible to get the stuff out of your clothing and it doesn't dry quickly so your skin is wet and sticky with the stuff for a long time. The up side was that it dried slowly on a canvas so you can work with the paint on the canvas for a long time. The down side was that it dried slowly and you can't add more paint for a few days even weeks or you'll get the problem I got and the colors would mix incorrectly.

I put plastic wrap over my pallet to keep that from drying and put it in the shelf stand that held my other pallets for other paintings.

"Well I guess that's that hmm," I grumbled and carefully pulled the labret woven red band that held my ponytail in place. "I'm going to sleep the extra bed mats are in the bathroom under the sink."

"Your not going to eat something first?" Sakura asked just finishing her bowl of ramen. I shook my head no. "Um well okay…good night Deidara-kun."

"What's with everyone still calling me _kun _hmm?" I sighed shacking out my hair. "I'm not a kid anymore."

"You sure as hell act like one," she replied, and I smiled. "Anyways it's not a bad thing. Hinata-Chan and I are the only ones who call you that."

"I guess yeah," I said suddenly not feeling sleepy now that I'd started a conversation. I leaned on the close wall behind me and looked at her with half lidded eyes. "…How have you been?"

"Alright," she replied looking out the window her back to me. My eyes wondered her form. "Busy at the hospital, crappy at home, haven't had a mission in a month."

"Doesn't sound alright to me yeah," I said pushing off the wall and walking across the room so I stood beside her. She was looking out at the pond that lay to the back of the building. It was a cute little spot.

"Have you ever panted that?" she asked and I thought over her question for a moment.

"No," I said which I found odd because it was a nice spot and I could make quit a bit of money off different paintings of the area. "Never thought of it I guess yeah."

"Do you draw people?" she asked and I shifted my gaze so I saw her face in the corner of my eye.

"Yeah…Haven't in a while though," I said and I saw her lips turn upward. The smile was soft and pure and it made me kind of _interested _on what she was thinking. "Why do you ask hmm?"

"Well since we both don't seem that tiered maybe you could draw me?" she said turning her head slightly toward me.

"Hmm I don't know," I said with a half smirk "wouldn't the Uchiha be annoyed?"

"I don't think he'll care," she said wistfully "and what he doesn't know won't hurt him."

"Is that your ninja way or something hmm?" I asked half as a joke half as an insult but she didn't seem to notice.

"Could be," she replied before turning to me completely. "Are you going to draw me or what?" I stared at her amused. Her green eyes where full of fire and her skin looked like it had a light from within even in the shadowed studio. Sakura was so beautiful I don't think I remembered how to form the word 'no' even if that was my answer, which it wasn't.

"Sure," I said and her smile beamed as I pulled two chairs out near the window. She had already taken her seat but it took me a little bit to rummage around my junk pile at the far left end of the large room to fine a drawing board, some eight by twelve paper, and finally my tin box that was filled with charcoal sticks. "Okay you have to forgive me un," I said as I sat down in the stool I'd set up across from Sakura's "I kind of suck at figure drawing. I'm more of a surrealist when it comes to the human form yeah."

"It doesn't matter," she said with a cute smile "I'm sure it will look nice."

"If I didn't know better," I said with a boyish smile "I'd think you where trying to flatter me Mrs. Uchiha Sakura." Ew that name falls off the tongue horribly! I grimaced at the thought but Sakura gave a small giggle before I finally began to draw.

My hand was slowly able to go back into the comfortable motions of drawing the human figure. I'd have to say that proportion was always something I had a little difficulty with but the sketching was actually looking like her a little bit so I kept working. Slowly adding sharper features with my pencil then darkening in shadows with the charcoal, it wasn't art but it was coming out to look like Sakura which was one thing besides explosions that I could never bore of.

She was the only person I think I could settle down with and hope to live a long time just because she was with me. If it wasn't for her I'd still be in the Akatsuki or even dead. I had a lot to thank and blame her for but that's why I love her and hate her all at once. That's why I couldn't live without her.

_You couldn't live without Hinata either. _

Hinata is such a wonderful person. I don't think I'd be where I am without her. I'd be swinging from the gallows if it wasn't for her. I wouldn't know a really deeply bound friendship if it wasn't for her. I wouldn't know what pure virtuous love is without her in my life.

And that's when it hit me that I was in fact in love with _both _Sakura and Hinata. The crazy part is I _knew _I loved them in different ways but both loves where equal even if I had thought that they weren't.

This new fact in my head did not waver what I was doing however and I kept drawing. But with ever look up I made to Sakura my chest began to hurt more and more because I felt that I was _cheating _on her some how. God, damn my personal life is fucked up isn't it?

I blanked out my mind from that point on. I just drew.

When my brain was able to function correctly I was finished with the sketch. It wasn't Sakura exactly because it missed to glowing fire that was always within her but it looked pretty close. I had made her hair slightly longer and her eyes a bit bigger but her face and form where next to exact. The side of my lip pulled up slightly as I turned the board around so she could see the drawing.

She smiled looking at it but I didn't look truly at her expression, my head was still buzzing with the new idea that I was in love with both of the most important woman in my life and _both_ of them are in relationships already. I think this is pay back for my criminal life. Yeah that has to be it.

"I love it," Sakura said making me snap from my thoughts. "Mmm let's go to bed, it's really late already."

"Okay hmm," I replied rubbing my eye. Yeah I was pretty tiered I guess I could worry about my wayward emotions tomorrow, but hey at lest life will be more interesting then it's been, if not more artistic. "I'll get your mat…"

I didn't get to finish what I was about to say because there where currently a pair of velvet soft lips on my own. I didn't open my eyes as I kissed her back slipping my tongue into her soft wet mouth. I felt her slip her arms around my neck as she moved into my lap never breaking the kiss. My brain exploded when she started tugging my hair kinkily.

"I miss you so much," she gasped when we both needed air again. I was currently preoccupied with sucking on her caller bone but I listened intently to her words. "I hate living with Sasuke, you're the one I want Deidara." I moved my mouth up her neck and I could feel her rattle.

As things got hotter for us the stool I was currently sitting on was becoming increasingly more uncomfortable for my ass. And hadn't I been dead tiered not to long ago? And wasn't I currently in emotional turmoil but what else is new? Okay current situation. I'm making out with Sakura and probably going to do her in a little bit where do I move? The hammock is a no since that thing can barely hold one person sleeping for get two people having sex. Floor would be good but I'm sure Sakura would just love to try to explain where she got so many bruises from not only me but the hard wood floors too. And so I came to this conclusion. This was a _bad _idea!

Again my libido suffers.

"No," I muttered and pushed her off me "you can sleep in here hmm." With that I left the room and curled up in my hammock to sulk.

* * *

**A.N: Deidara thinks way to much when he dosn't have to and dosn't think at all when he has to think. In other words he's crazy but you already knew that**


	5. Taming the Fire

**AN: Okay yeah this chapter is a little shorter then I was hoping for but I do like it. Deidara's messing with poor ANBU heads again so that should be fun. lol **

**disclamer: I disclam this disclamer so i can clam that I disclam owning naruto**

* * *

Chapter Five: Taming the Fire

Okay why did I do that? Was the first question that popped into my head when I opened my eyes and looked up at the pop corn ceiling of my bed room. Oh yeah I remember now…because I'm a retard. Yeah or something close to that.

So as I stared at the ceiling debating with myself whether or not I should kill myself and everyone within a ten kilometer radius there was a soft knock on the door. I sighed getting up knowing that the person who was at the door had just saved about three hundred people or so and padded bare foot over the cold tiles of the kitchen before opening the door.

"Deidara," said a very unhappy looking Uchiha, whom was probably the very last _thing_ on earth that I wanted to see this loveless morning. I really, _really_, wanted to slam the door in his face.

"Sasuke-san," I said way more politely then needed.

"Is Sakura here?" he asked his eyes narrowing slightly. Oh yeah he knew me and Sakura's pervious relations, she had cheated on him with me and then back stabbed me to be with him again. Sweet girl isn't she?

"Yeah," I muttered scratching the back of my head "she's in the studio sleeping."

"Oh?" he asked accusingly.

"I didn't do anything hmm," I growled as he let himself in "she came here on her own yeah! She broke into my house."

"Sounds familiar," said the obviously overly protective asshole.

"I'm probably in the shittiest mood you could ever come across Uchiha hmm," I said blandly leaning on the counter top. "I'm not going to shout insults back in forth today, don't feel like it. So unless you want me to get really angry yeah, I suggest you take Sakura and get the fucking hell out of my house, okay?" I took a banana from the wire hook I'd hung a bunch of them on and began to peal it.

"Fine," Sasuke said crossing the room and disappearing out of my sight. I didn't need to bother showing him where the studio was he'd been in my house before so I didn't actually care, it's not like he could get lost in the studio apartment anyways. So I waited eating my banana mutely as I heard some yelling go on in the other room. I rolled my eyes.

Yeah see that I wasn't even in the mood to protect Sakura, see I can still be evil…or something…whatever. The couple dragged each other out of my house and I sighed when the door slammed shut behind them.

"God no one has class anymore hmm," I muttered throwing away my banana peal and inwardly chuckling at my hypocritical statement. "Hmm I wonder when the festival is going to be. Grandma still hasn't called for me…meaning she's pissed hmm." I sighed and went to my room to get dressed, pulling on a baggy dark blue t-shirt which had splotches of white paint on it, a pair of long pants, and outdoor work boots rather then ninja shoes. I wasn't technically a Hidden Leaf shinobi so personally I didn't feel I had a right to where ninja gear.

With that I headed out not bothering to lock the door. No, one would steal from my place, most all the shinobi knew who I was and all the civilians knew I'd been a ninja (they just never knew what kind.) And if anyone did steal from my house I did have a right to track them down, if they died I could just say I'd killed them in self defense. Even if it wasn't true I knew Hinata would back me up on anything, and soon no one could make argument with her, once she became Hyuuga head anyways.

In need to make myself a nuisance to patrolling ANBU I jumped from roof top to roof top. I knew they where probably shitting there pants from the shadows wondering what the hell I was trying to pull, then they'd become even more nervous as I neared the Hokage building. Once I'm inside they'll have a heart attack of worry then feel stupid when they see I was just chat chitin with Grandma. I love messing with ANBU.

Seeing that the window to the Hokage's office was wide open I decided rather then taking the stairs I'd pull a Kakashi and just let myself in. The near by ANBU all nearly fell dead on seeing this but they did not reveal there locations.

"Morning hmm," I said making Tsunade, Kakashi, the wood element guy, Sai, and the pig lady look up. Tsunade pressed her brows together. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Um yeah what does it look like," the blond woman said putting some papers down.

"Is it important?" I asked and she glared dully at me. Yeah she acts tuff but I know that even I could crawl into that spot between her giant boobs called her heart, which I've done rather successfully with my hopeless romantics that you readers have been leaching on the past two fan fictions. I mean really do you all love to see me get tortured?

"Well _yeah_," she yelled but I smiled sweetly at her. "Fine Deidara what do you want?"

"Well I was just wondering about my preparation for my performance during the upcoming festival yeah," I said getting looks from the pig lady. "I'm sure I have more then enough clay but I was also wondering…if I could have some practice with my explosives. I need to get the hang of it before the show or it'll be too dangerous hmm."

"Permission granted," she said simply "stay in the Academy practice yards and _try_ not to cause serious damage to any buildings and such."

My eyes widened and I practically bear hugged the beautiful older woman (much to the shock of the other shinobi in the room) before leaving out the window again. I'd forgotten to say thank you in my rush but I do think the hug had been enough.

* * *

"Hinata open up hmm!" I said banging on Naruto's apartment door. Knowing she'd probably had slept over anyway. After a few seconds of no sound I banged on the door again.

"What?" Naruto grumbled. His hair was a mess (messier then usual) and he was only in his boxers. He looked like I'd just woken him up, which I'd probably just done.

"Is Hinata in?" I asked practically on my tip toes so I could see over the other man's head. Naruto was only slightly taller then me but he always seemed bigger compared to my leaner frame.

"Um yeah," he muttered "come in." He opened the door wider and I made myself comfortable on his sofa while he went back inside his bedroom where Hinata was probably still curled up in a little ball.

I had absorbed myself into the TV which was playing an old paid program from like 1997 when Hinata finally came out, dressed in a lazy old T-shirt and knee hole ridden jeans. When I finally pulled my attention from the TV I was stunned at how naturally beautiful she was, her eyes half moons and her smile small as she sipped her coffee. Her hair was wavy from bed and she smelled like ramen…well everything smelled like ramen in Naruto's house after an hour or so.

"Morning Deidara," she said with a yawn "why are you up so early."

"Ugh," I grumbled my art high beginning to crash as I recalled this morning. "Sasuke came by to pick up Sakura and they made a big scene."

"Wait why was Sakura at your house to begin with?" Naruto asked with a slight smirk. I'd told him my relationship with Sakura before and I had been surprised that he had believed me at all.

"Well she had gotten kicked out of the house the night before and she decided to crash at my place hmm," I explained and Naruto gave a long sigh. He sighed because he knew (everyone knew) that Sasuke treated Sakura shitty and no one could do anything about it because he was Sasuke Uchiha and the village needed him and bla bla fucking bla!

"Get any action?" Naruto asked with a grin while Hinata elbowed him.

"Ha well…" I smirked "close but no."

"Your going to get sick," Naruto said as we went into the kitchen, Hinata rolled her eyes.

"Can you really get sick from not having sex?" Hinata asked, the statement made her blush but she was a lot braver with just us around anyway.

"Yeah it's called 'being a lonely motherfucker' hmm," I said and Naruto laughed from the kitchen. "Anyways I wanted to tell you," I said looking at the indigo haired girl, whom I just figured out I was _also _in love with. "Grandma said I could practice my art on the training grounds yeah. I was wondering if you wanted to come with."

"Sure," she said "but after breakfast okay?"

"Right, I'm kind of hungry myself anyway," I said with a smile as I watched her sit on the armrest of the sofa her left leg tucked under her while her other leg kept her steady on the spot. Her curves bulged softly through the fabric of her over sized clothing. I watched her breathing and I watched the little tiny works of art she made with her body and I completely ignored the TV.

* * *

"Okay," I said opening up the leather bag that was held to my waist by a simple cloth belt with a metal buckle. The weight of the clay on my hips made me feel somewhat normal again, as if I hadn't been myself for the longest time but the soft mud made me come back into myself. Which sounds really weird but it was a good feeling either way.

I put my hand in the opening of the bag and opened the mouth within my palm. I could feel it working. The hand mouth has no taste buds and is only for molding. I groped the contents of my bag for a few seconds and soon the cavity within my hand and half way up my arm with nearly filled with clay and mixing with my charka. Hopefully the charka channel wasn't fried from my stupid over dosing.

"Alright almost ready," I said looking over at Hinata who was standing a few feet away. The mouth opened and spat out a lump of clay into my hand and I expertly began to mold it into a figure, the movements where quick and effortless from practicing over and over how to carve out an animal with one hand and without looking at what I was making.

I opened my hand and looked down at the bird that sat inertly in my palm. With my other hand I did my practiced one handed seals of dog and then ram making the figure come to life and expand to the size of a small dog.

"Wow," Hinata said watching the bird fly just over our heads before getting to the desired altitude.

"Yeah?" I said bring both my hands together into a stronger ram seal. "Katsu," I commanded and the bird exploded marvelously. The colors where normal explosion colors of yellows and reds but I was planning on mixing the clay with colorful firework powder for the show. "Art is a bang hmm, and that was rather artistic for such a small bang."

"Yeah that was awesome," Hinata said "how do you feel about the while thing? What are you going to do?"

"Well knowing Tsunade-sama this is probably going to be a test for my skill un," I said with a slight shrug "so I'll probably do some aerial maneuvers as well as hitting targets on the ground with C1 bombs. Hmm I'm not really sure I guess I would need to create an act now aren't I?"

"Don't you love being a trick show pony?" she said sarcastically and I grinned.

"Only if it's showing off my genius yeah!"

"Don't go getting an ego," she warned with a smile.

"To late for that," I said throwing a sculptor of a hawk into the air and it expanding to a ride able size. "Come on Hinata-Chan," I said as the bird came down landing next to us "fly with me for a little yeah."

Hinata looked surprised as I boldly put my hand out for her. But after a moments thought she gingerly took my hand and I smirked evilly behind my bangs. I helped Hinata onto the hawk, she sat with her legs folded under her while I jumped up and stood behind her to control the bird.

We lifted up and Hinata gasped softly making me smile as we got over the tree tops and began to pick up speed. I took a lap around all of Konoha and I could feel the many heart attacks going around as ANBU watched us fly by. Of course they couldn't do anything about it because Tsunade had probably already told them about me being able to train now. HA in your masked faces black ops mother fuckers!

* * *

**AN: Okay yeah Naruto and Deidara are friendly with each other but that's really only because Naruto dosn't know that Deidara had sex with Hinata. Jeez Dei knows how to get himself in the worst possible situations. I think he does it on perpose. **


	6. The Simplest Cure

**A.N: This chapter took so long! Sorry about the wait**

* * *

Chapter Six: The Simplest Cure

Flying felt good. It felt even better with Hinata holding onto my pant legs as we did a tight turn over the Hokage Mountain. I was a bit rusty at flying but after hitting a few to many cold air pockets and Hinata almost getting a heart attack each time we dropped a few hundred feet I got a hang of it again. What? Did she think I was going to be a freaking pro after months of not even touching exploding clay in my hands?

"Watch it Deidara!" she screamed for the millionth time as I flew over roof tops, scaring the civilians below shitless. I rolled my eyes and took a nearly vertical ascend nearly 5, 000 feet. I was happy to find that we where moving fast enough that I couldn't hear Hinata's bloody murder of a scream. A trail of curses came from the indigo haired woman as we leveled out. She swore like a sailor, it was pretty sweet.

"Hold on Pearl," I said crouching down slightly. The left wing dipped and we went into a barrel roll making Hinata both scream in my ear and burry her nails into my thighs. Which I wasn't bothered by at all, it was the deafening screaming that was annoying. Then again I couldn't blame her, with her sensitive eyes the world must seem really dizzying moving so fast and so high up.

The bird did three rolls before we where right side up again. I laughed and stood up again. Hinata's eyes where big and she was glaring up at me. We drifted for a while and I sat down folding my arms across Hinata's neck and resting my head on her shoulder. She let me but I could feel her back muscles tighten and her spin stiff.

"What are you doing?" she finally asked when I didn't move.

"Nothing," I said "just resting hmm." She didn't seem satisfied by my answer and tilted her head slightly to look down her nose at me. I raised a pale brow at her.

"You're a goof," she muttered and sighed relaxing and curling her back into my chest.

"I love you yeah," I said and I could tell that she rolled her pale eyes at that.

"No, you don't you love Sakura," she corrected and I almost said 'Oh right,' but kept the comment to myself. "What's with you and girls that already have boyfriends…or husbands."

"They are the most interesting," I said with a smile "and I like making trouble for myself yeah."

"Yourself and everyone else."

"Does S-Class mean nothing to you?" I reminded her and she rolled her eyes again. "Guess not it didn't stop you before yeah," I said to be joking but she pulled away from me and glared over her shoulder.

"Put me down," she demanded.

Fuck what did I do now?

"That was a stupid thing to say wasn't it?" I murmured looking at her like a whipped dog. She nodded at me, apparently she didn't like thinking about me like that. She didn't love me even if we where perfect for each other. "Sorry Pearl," I said with a half smile "it's just you know, I've been thinking a lot lately yeah."

"I can tell," she said trying to be sarcastic but I could see the pink in her white skin, she'd never be able to hide her bashfulness. "Anyway no, please Deidara, don't really be in love with me okay?" I just stared at her and smiled.

"Sure Pearl yeah," I lied and she smiled back. I mean what could I say? There was no point in pushing her when she was asking so politely and looking so cute doing so. It would be criminal to get her angry.

* * *

"A ticket," I grumbled at the ANBU while Hinata giggled behind me "for what hmm?"

"Some of the group thought this was some sort of attack," said the female behind the mask. "You where nearly shot out of the sky, I'd watch it if I where _you_." And with that comment she vanished and I was left to sulk.

"Damn like I'm not in enough dept as it is yeah!" I yelled rubbing the back of my neck and looking on how much I was to pay. Hinata giggled and I glared at her with a smirk. "What?"

"You get angry so easily," she said with her bell like voice "it's not like Tsunade-sama would kick you out, she likes you to much."

"Yeah well I need to get a job pronto because I'm going to get fat and die from the sodium in take yeah," I said rolling my eyes. That was a ramen joke if you didn't get it. Stay with me dumb people jeez.

"Naruto's lived off ramen his whole life and he's fine," she said with a smile as we started back to the village.

"You know I heard Tailed Beasts get all of there super natural energy from microwavable ramen hmm," I said looking up at the noon sky, it was brilliantly warm.

One thing about the Leaf Village that I really was not accustom to was the year round summers. The Earth County has four seasons and with it being fall I missed the changing of the leaves that signaled the coming of winter. I suppose it was just in my nature as being an artistic person to want back the four different beauties of spring, summer, fall, and winter.

_Orange, red, yellows the colors of fall. The colors of fire, the colors of destruction, the colors of art!_

"Is that so?" Hinata smiled and I nodded. "I always thought it was just that he's a pig."

"Huh?" I blinked being pulled from my thoughts and more importantly the madness.

"Are you okay Deidara?" she asked putting a pale hand on my forehead "you seemed out of it all of a sudden."

"I'm fine un," I muttered taking her small hand onto my own and spinning her around, she squeaked at the sudden dizzying movement. When she stopped back in front of me she blushed and turned away.

"See you later Deidara-san."

Deidara-_san_? How common, how very unloving, uncaring. I kind of thought she wouldn't be so bashful around me, I mean she's like my best friend. Best friends can spin each other; there was no affection behind the spin, no alternative motive. I just wanted to see her smile or laugh so she wouldn't worry so much over me.

Why must women be so cruel? Why has happiness become so hard to grasp? Long ago I thought I knew what I wanted out of life, it was so simple back then. When did things become so complicated and irreversible? Was there ever a time when I did not hear the madness in the back of my head?

If so, could I ever silence it again?

I knew the answer, we all knew the answer. I'd have to kill myself to silence the madness, for I am the madness. Death. Nothingness. One blast then nothing.

_How very artistic. _

"Art is a bang," I said under my breath as I walked back to my apartment alone.

_Do it. _

I opened the door but did not shut it behind me. I crossed the chilled tile floor of the kitchen to my room for the last time. I smiled feverously, crazily I know, the box of clay was just within my studio, untouched yet by human hands. My death would only need a hand full of clay for my death to destroy half of the village…but I wonder, Oh how I wonder! What if I where to consume an entire twenty pounds of explosive clay? What magnificent work of art would the ninja world behold?

No one could stop me; no one would have time to talk sense to me. I'm far too gone, long gone. Why had I even bothered attempting to change? What kind of life could a devil have among angels? Surely not a pleasant one! I'd been a fool to think I could live a normal life after being far too insane to even live; life was not mine to have and not mine to give. I would die today as many artists do, penniless, alone, and with no children to remember me. All I'll I have is my art. My true art.

"Art is…" I was about to obsessively say my battle catch phrase once more but I was stalled by something beautiful and naked sitting on a table in the middle of the room. I was so shocked my pervious monolog was forgotten completely and all I could think was 'why is there a naked girl on my table?' "Can I help you yeah?" I asked the girl whom I'd never met.

"I'm the model you hired for a painting," she said very professionally even for being butt naked in front of me. "I just assumed you wanted me plat formed or something."

"Oh right," I said still kind of out of it. "Kind of early."

"Is it?" she piped "I can come back later if you find it necessary!" Her black eyes where big as dinner plates and I smiled, she's cute.

"Nah I'll do some sketches now," I said looking away a bit so I'm not staring at her body. "I'll get some blankets you can sit on. I want drapery and softness in the piece yeah."

"Softness," she murmured settling back down "I can do that!"

I said nothing and went to get a drawing board and the desired sized paper. I was calm and my mind was free of any suicidal thoughts though I knew they where there, the madness howled in the back of my head but the young model helped me to ignore its charms.

If not for this woman I'd be dead and perhaps hundreds more dead for the sake of my art. I should blame and be angry at her for foiling my intentions but I couldn't be mad at her unawareness and her willingness to please me. She acted as if I mattered more then her own well being. She acted as if her body where just a prop for me to position into anything I wanted, she was a human chunk of clay for my own personal molding. She was a very good model too.

"What's your name Artist-sama?" she said an hour into the session. She's been laying in the same position soundlessly and motionlessly so the sudden question kicked my brain back into normal thought.

"Deidara," I answered her, my eyes moving from her and to the paper and back as I drew.

"Deidara," she said softly not changing her expression, like I said she was a very good model and could speak without ruining her face. "I'm Ai."

"Pleaser," I said engrossed in my current work.

"How is it looking?" she asked and I could tell she was beginning to get cramped up from sitting in the same spot for so long.

"Beautiful," I said "nearly finished too but we can have a break and tea yeah."

"Sounds wonderful," Ai said hoping off the table and got her close from the floor. I smirked and left the room to let her change and went to the kitchen.

"So," she said walking in fully dressed in a large sweater and ripped jeans. "You have a girlfriend Artist-sama?" I smiled at the ironic question as I poured two cups of green tea. "Your more handsome then most of the other artists I model for."

"And your how old?" I asked putting down a steaming cup in front of her. She gave a half smirk resting the cup between her two hands. "You look like your sixteen hmm."

"I'm eighteen and you never answered my question," Ai persisted and I sighed blowing some hair out of my face.

"If I had a girlfriend I wouldn't be hiring nude models," I answered and she raised a brow at me and I stared back at her.

"So I'm guessing you don't have sex often," she said slyly with a seductive smile.

"Shame isn't it?" I asked putting the tea to my lips and closed my eyes as the hot liquid went down my throat.

"Maybe I can fix that," she said reaching across the table to kiss me and I let her.

"Maybe you should," I murmured on her lips and ran my hands threw her soft black hair. And I wondered while our breaths became heavier and our hearts beat faster if this is all you really need out of life, just someone who will reach out to you in your darkest moments.

* * *

**A.N: Woah REVIEW PLEZ**


End file.
